It’s always interesting to me to observe how I feel when starting something new.
I submitted a book proposal today that is about my NDE and my life afterward. It is for a contest with the biggest self-help publishing company in the world, Hay House. I was given an opportunity to submit it without having to go through an agent, which was awesome. At the same time I am appreciating this opportunity, I am doubting my abilities and questioning my competency. The bottom line is, I wish to share my story with others as a means of serving the greater good. It is a story that I believe will help others heal. But…..
I’ve never been someone who is comfortable with “putting myself out there” and being fearless while doing it. I have always been confident when it comes to things that are essentially devoid of emotion, like pursuing a career in medicine.
I’m sort of chuckling at this right now, because while studying to become a PA, I wouldn’t have believed the medical profession could be so devoid of emotion. As I entered the field, I molded myself around its standards and belief system, telling myself what I was learning was absolutely the truth.
The thing was, I didn’t really believe in all of it. I convinced myself I did so I could be doing something worthwhile.
Today, I find my focus is on the exact opposite of what I am practicing in my profession, and that what I “do” is in direct conflict with my ideals. Western medicine teaches people to focus on what is wrong with their bodies. It seeks to treat “illness” rather than enhance the natural abilities of the body to self-heal. I focus on what is right and remove my focus on what is wrong as much as possible. Needless to say, it makes it quite challenging to practice. I am currently working in an ER and luckily only treating acute medical problems. I do have the occasional opportunity to get into a discussion with a patient about changing their thoughts from a focus on what is wrong with them to focusing on being well.
It’s exciting, living this life after a NDE…I believe that now.